|nonskid (nonskid) wrote,|
@ 2011-08-14 14:41:00
March 1st, 2000
I can't believe Ron and I almost had a fight this morning!
It's his birthday and as a present I suggested some quality time only the two of us. My femininity was hurt when he turned me down, all red in the face and not looking at me in the eye, claiming to have to go to work. I was so pissed, I shouted at him to just leave and closed myself in the room we are sharing in his parents' house.
He looked so shocked but pleased to become a father, and it's already been more than two months since I made my announcement, I really can't accept nor stand his behaviour anymore. He needs to man up and get used to me being pregnant, for Gods' sake. He looks as if he's ashamed of me and it's really not helping, neither is his awkwardness around me!
I hate being so emotive, not being in control of my emotions.
I hate Ron's immaturity and his habit to avoid telling me his feelings, preferring to run away. I hope he won't leave me like it happened a couple of years ago…sure, he was under the influence of the Horcrux, but it magnified his repressed feelings and I don't really know what I'd do if a similar situation ever occurred.
~130 days – baby
-62 days – wedding
March 2nd, 2000
finally Ron explained himself (for both our sakes I'm not thinking about who may have forced prompted him to do so).
He apologized for his fears and for looking so distant, swearing up and down that he loves me; he affirmed he's happy to have a kid with me, but this pregnancy was totally unexpected and at 20 years old it felt a bit too soon for him.
Thinking back at it, I have to agree with him, but my stubbornness and these crazy hormones didn't make me think straight, I simply felt betrayed by him.
I'm so used to get mad at him that I'd have never imagined his words would calm me. When he sat next to me and took my left hand in his, toying with the ring, I was close to tears. He told me how ecstatic he was to marry me after spending our school years in obliviousness to our feelings towards each other.
I really didn't know how to reply but agreed with every word he was saying.
Just a couple of months…
~129 days – baby
-61 days – wedding
March 5th, 2000
we had a brunch in the Weasleys' backyard, my parents were invited as well. Between Molly and my mother, who admittedly isn't that great of a cook but her pasta salad and blackberries cake are heavenly, we ate to the point of exploding.
I haven't been feeling too well the whole day, though, I woke up with a bit of a fever and nausea – nothing to worry about, the fever was roughly 37,7°C
My mother, Molly and Fleur gushed all over me, while Harry, Ron, Ginny, George and Bill played Quidditch, taking turns at arbitrating. Arthur showed my father the car that he's been modifying for the past years and that Molly shouldn't know about, but I wonder if she's just pretending not to know ;)
It's in moments like this that the well hidden 'housewife' that's in me craves to come out, making me daydream about my future house and the host I will be (thanks to Molly I'm getting better at cooking, she's also teaching me some useful spells to take care of the house).
~126 days – baby
-58 days – wedding
March 10th, 2000
the baby is due in four months, day given day taken. Pregnancy is going fairly well, just the inevitable backache and the urgency to go to the loo every five minutes, but I can deal with it…anything for the baby.
I casually mentioned this to Ron and we discussed about names, nursery, colours…I suggested my main name choices, Helena and Harrison, while Ron was more for Emily and Julian, but I'm confident we'll sort something out. We have time!
~121 days – baby
-53 days – wedding
March 11th, 2000
as a follow up of yesterday's conversation, Ron and I started sketching the nursery. We agreed on using "neutral colours" such as orange and green since we don't know the sex of the baby; now we only have to wait to have our house/apartment, hopefully soon after the wedding, so the works can start and we'll be able to arrange the many presents our friends brought for the baby shower.
Good to know we agree on something, because the name-lottery is still going on and our friends and families' suggestions don't exactly help us, they're confusing us more…
~120 days – baby
-52 days – wedding
March 21st, 2000
I don't know what to think of the pretty painful pangs in my low abdomen. The good thing is that they're sporadic, but they still make me double up with pain.
~110 days – baby
-42 days – wedding
March 28th, 2000
I found some pink-ish streaks on my panties…
~103 days – baby
-35 days – wedding